Choosing to Complain...

Yesterday, while I was teaching PreCalculus to one of my private school students, I was told that I should be a psychologist. At first, I was speechless. Me, unpredictable, spontaneous, highly creative, anxious, slightly mad and infinitely curious, a psychologist? I need a psychologist, or maybe a few of them.

So I said what came naturally, "do you know what psychology means?" She told me it means the study of the mind. Good answer, but incorrect. I'm sure you think that's what it is too. Well, it's not. "Psyche" come from the latin psyche, which comes from an ancient greek work that means SOUL/SPIRIT/BREATHE. Psychology means the study of the soul, while Psychiatry essentially means the treatment of the soul. (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psyche)

We proceeded in having a wonderful conversation. She has nervous ticks, and I introduced some skills that may help her be more mindful. In the process, she taught me some valuable lessons. I would like to share the most important one.

She told me, "when we surround ourselves with people who complain about someone in their lives, like a teacher or a boyfriend, we end up copying them so that we can relate and end up complaining about our teacher or boyfriend without even knowing it. Then we end up feeling terrible and ruining good things in our life."

Here is a 17 year old demonstrating an amazing propensity for wisdom. She is so right, yet I see so many adults, grown individuals with professional jobs, vast social media profiles and resumes and degrees that are beyond impressive, with little regard for this simple piece of wisdom.

We have adults who choose to surround themselves, mindlessly, with people that complain. Sometimes they watch television that features people that complain. Sometimes we think that we can help those that complain, only to find that we join the party, with seamless ease. Often, we stay attached to people that are complaining about their relationships, jobs, family and more because we begin to believe there is no other option. We must maintain cordiality; we must maintain a sense of reliability so that we don't lose the "friendship" or benefits that seems to be present.

Back to the conversation with my student. I offered her a suggestion, something I have been trying to implement in my own life; when you notice the poison, when you notice that somebody within your presence is complaining of something in your life, become AWARE of your own individual CHOICE. Become aware of the choices you have; relate to the person, ignore them, walk away, ask them to speak with compassion, offer them a choice to plant seeds of peace and understanding, choose to plant seeds of peace and understanding to your own relationships, focus on gratitude, or bang your head with a pan.

Well, she loved the advice, and is ready to rock all her classes and defeat the anxiety that plagues her. I'm going to take my own advice, and continue inviting people into my life that are elevated, sincere, grateful and hardworking. I'm going to set an example of mindful living, and through that, I may influence the people I love and know and the people I love without knowing.

What choice will you make the next time someone complains?